10 More Jokes !!!!

[ashurstdave]

1. They were on their honeymoon and on the train going to their love-nest destination :-
- Are you comfortable there sweetheart? - he asked.
- Ever so, dear.
- No jolting, precious?
- Not a bit.
- No draught over there darling?
- No dearest.
- Then change seats with me he replied.

2. A very stout lady was trying to get into a railway carriage, when a man behind her started to laugh at her efforts.
- If you were half a gentleman, you'd help me in, snapped the lady.
- Madam, retorted the man, if you were half a lady, you wouldn't need any help.

3. Do you know dear, that the tunnel we've just passed through is two miles long and cost two million pounds to build?
- Oh really responded the girlfriend, as she re-arranged herself, - "It was worth it, wasn't it ? "


4 Father ( as train arrives at Bournemouth) - "We've only just left the train and you're asking me for money already. "
Son - "Well, don't forget the train was 30 minutes late! "

5. An elderly lady who arrived at Edinburgh off the Flying Scotsman, could not find her luggage. Eventually she found a porter and said "Porter, I've lost all my luggage ! "
" Then ye dinna need a porter " was the answer.

6. " Now, dont trouble coming any further, if you do, you'll have to get a platform ticket " said the passenger.
" Trouble ! - It's worth more then ten pence to see you off " replied the friend.

7. Did you hear about the sleeping car attendant, who has just written a book on " Berth Control " ?

8. Caller to National Rail Enquiries - " I want to return on a late train."
Reply - "Try the 22.00 - it's usually as late as any of them. "

9. Husband - "There's an old clothes man at the door. "
Wife - "Tell him, I've got all I need. "

10. Lady at station - " Railman, will you put something on the 2.30 for me ? "
Reply - "Sorry madam, we're not allowed to lay bets! "

[swt458]

oh i dont get some of them

[73109]

Very good Dave