Jokes...

[swt458]

You may post humerous jokes in this section, however you are reminded there are some younger viewers here and we do not want a dull forum with no fun, however we ask that if any bad language must be used it is kept mild and un-offensive.

It is also important to remember that people may not like certain jokes and therefore administration would have to come in and delete that area. This will not happen!!! However in the slight chance that it does, you are asked for your own sake and our time, that you humbly let it go and do not say anything.

NO personal jokes aimed at specific members of the forum or other forums here.

Thank you

Railtalk Administration

[73109]

Knock Knock

[Andy]

whos there

[73109]

Well you took so long answering i walked off

[swt458]

this is a jokes section, the jokes aren't there to depress you!!!

oooh did i mention those smileys are amazing... i would change forum just for them!

[West Highlander]

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

[Bramleyman]

A train load of Professors on a tour of the London Underground have gone missing. Police are now looking for a tube of smarties.

Q. How many trainspotters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three. One to change it, one to write down its serial number and one to bring anoraks and flask of soup.

Slow Train

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

"What's going on?" she yells out the window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again.

The woman sees the same conductor walk again.

She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"

[zoro]

[Liam]

this is a jokes section, the jokes aren't there to depress you!!!

oooh did i mention those smileys are amazing... i would change forum just for them!

I hate the smilies

[pdw_buses]

I have a good joke:

David Beckham's new Contract!